Suspension of judgment

Here I realized soon that the way I can judge things is relative, conditioned by the wellbeing which I am used to, the availability of money, the normality of what is superfluous which inevitably leads to unnecessary wastage whose I can be aware more easily here, as I have rationed water and electricity. Nevertheless, I see many things that I do not understand, so many dynamics that my being refuses and that my rationality brings me to consider wrong, things that if happened in Italy I would condemn with no doubts. Here, however, doubts remain, an they are big and strong.
The cultural chasm that separates me from these people shows itself in the most unexpected moments. The elements that make up this difference are numerous: the social sense of shame was one of the first things that struck me. Here, walking down the street, you will never see a boy and a girl holding hands. What for us is a common gesture of affection, here becomes a sign of friendship. Keeping the hand is in fact common among friends, no matter if boys or girls.
A kiss in public is provocative stuff. I soon noticed that the division between boys and girls is quite clear; promiscuous friendships are rare.
Looking at certain forms of social deference, I think of some stories of my grandfather about his youth, and I end up having the feeling that maybe some dynamics that occur here now should not be much different from those of '30s or '40s in Italy.
All the comments that I allow myself to make should not be read as making value judgments about things or persons: the judgments are always unpleasant things, but here I understand that white people, perhaps to avoid losing their certainties, need to spit judgments on everything they see and that they can not understand. I found myself having to listen to discussions of anthropological, sociological, political-economic subjects brought on by people who may not even suspect that Levi-Strauss is not only a brand of jeans. I realize how the need to classify everything into known categories comes from a human limit, and therefore the Congolese people are the way they are because they didn’t get an education, they are underdeveloped and need to grow, they lack of initiative or have too initiative in relation to the situation of the country. Often these judgments contain an insidious racism that continues to perpetuate itself, as if the tragedy of European colonization was a drop of little significance. Everyone speak about everything. All licensed experts, all who try to convince you of their certainties. And some show you the stars of their years of experience to give depth to their analysis. When this kind of talks starts, I have no desire to answer back because, when you answer back someone who has the truth in his pocket, you’re moving a personal insult to him: well, then I just go out to smoke a cigarette.